Many people set goals for themselves
when young. Often in response to questions from aged relatives: "What
do you want to be when you grow up?"
When we are grown up and
people no longer ask us that question, we stop setting goals for ourself. When I ask participants on our programmes why they stopped
setting goals, they reply that they ‘tried it’ but they didn’t
succeed. And when hey continued with the activity and continued not to
achieve the goals, after a while they ‘just sort of gave up’.
You’ll
realise of course, that if you do something repeatedly, and repeatedly
get no success - your desire to continue with the activity diminishes
rapidly. So, your mind does you a favour by not setting any more goals.
That way, you won’t be disappointed and you can avoid the discomfort
of not achieving them.
“I don’t like to get my hopes dashed.”
“I can’t have my dreams shattered.”
“I don’t want to be seen as a goal seeker.”
“It’s too painful to not achieve them.”
No goals=no pain.
These
are just some examples of ‘reasons’ we hear. So the safest, kindest
thing to do to ourselves is stop setting goals. So we do.
“Goals
don’t achieve anything!”
Several participants have told me. And they
are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! Goals and the setting of goals does NOTHING!
ACTING ON THEM does!
Why
oh why don’t we act on our goals? Don’t fret, you are not alone if you
haven’t acted on achieving your goals. So, what we need is a goal
setting process that includes the action plan.
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